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Is it ever a good idea to insult another blogger?

This evening one of my google alerts let me know that a blog had linked to mine.  I don’t care how long you’ve been doing this, that’s always a good feeling.  So I clicked on the link, thinking it would be the usual: My new friend this, or check out this blog that, or even a post picking apart a view I had on something.  Instead, what I found was a post that started out by insulting my readers.  Or rather, in this case, my video watchers, basically saying that anyone who watched my videos to the end was a sucker.

I don’t need to defend my videos.  They’re a minor part of my blog, they don’t get much traffic compared to the rest of the site, and I mostly do them for myself.  Complaining out loud when I’m home alone might indicate that I need to visit a psychiatrist, but if I put a camera on while I do it then I’m “vlogging” and not necessarily nuts.  And they’re so incredibly quick to do compared to actual writing that they make me feel like I’ve accomplished something.  So if someone doesn’t like them or doesn’t watch them, whatever.  I’ll keep doing them as long as my face doesn’t break YouTube.  Oops, I guess I just defended them.

But I was baffled as to why this blogger would insult my blog like that.  I expect to be criticized for what I write.  I often have strong opinions and I put them out there knowing that they’ll be challenged.  But this blogger is new, and she’s writing on someone else’s site.  She has a handful of posts under her belt and twitter followers numbering around 50.  I was at that stage not all that long ago, and I can remember my attitude towards my fellow bloggers clearly: I’m in awe of you, I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’d be ever-so-grateful if you’d help me out in any little way you can.  It wouldn’t have occurred to me to try to get ahead by insulting another mom blogger.

Notice that I’m not telling you who the blogger is or what site she writes for.  I don’t need anyone to defend me and I don’t want to give her any traffic.  In blogging, any kind of attention tends to be good attention.  So, she missed an opportunity to get a link back from me, to engage me in a discussion.  And as much as I’d like to pretend that I let these things roll off my back, I will remember her name forever and will never be rooting for her, because she started out her writing career insulting me.

So is there ever a reason to insult a fellow blogger?  (I’m wracking my brain trying to think if I’ve ever done it, because there’s nothing more embarrassing than saying you should never do something and then having ten people show you exactly where you did it.)  If I disagree with someone I try to focus on the issue, not the blogger.  And that can be hard.  Sometimes what I really want to do is just go on twitter and start calling names.  But I take a deep breath, and I try not to stoop to that level.

I’ve seen plenty of bloggers attack other bloggers.  Am I in the minority here, thinking that this isn’t cool?

Originally posted on Behind the Screen, a part of SelfishMom.com. All opinions expressed on this website come straight from Amy unless otherwise noted.  Please visit Amy’s Full Disclosure page for more information.

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9 Responses to “Is it ever a good idea to insult another blogger?”

  1. Kimberly Coleman/Mom in the City on March 5th, 2010 9:32 am
    1

    Not only is it not cool, to me (if you haven’t talked to the other person directly), it is cowardly. It is SO much easier to talk about people then to talk to them. Some people just need to grow up!
    Kimberly Coleman/Mom in the City´s last blog ..Sneaky Fitness and Nutrition Wrap-Up & Giveaway

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  2. Alicia on March 5th, 2010 9:45 am
    2

    I’m sorry that happened! Talking badly about someone else is never ok in my book. Sadly though some people have to put others down to build themselves up.
    Alicia´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday- Meals My Mom Made

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  3. Complicated Mama on March 5th, 2010 9:52 am
    3

    You are not alone— I think bloggers ripping each other apart is ridiculous!

    I’ve never done it… never plan on doing it. I may talk about a topic or view I’ve read on another site that I disagree with but I would NEVER out them! Like you said I focus on the issue.

    And personally, I respect all of the bloggers I know… and have met some amazing people through blogging.

    I feel for this newbie blogger- she’s got it all wrong.

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  4. Nikki @ The Mommy Factor on March 5th, 2010 10:36 am
    4

    As someone who’s had to deal with this issue…I think you know my thoughts on this. Continue to be yourself and dont give any more thoughts to people who act like this.

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  5. shari on March 5th, 2010 1:24 pm
    5

    when someone speaks badly and attacks another i relate it to jealousy. you are where she wants to be – rather than asking for suggestions she has gone on the attack. not the right way to go about it!!
    she got your attention – thankfully not a reaction:)

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  6. niri on March 5th, 2010 8:53 pm
    6

    I have read blogs that insult me and I would be lying if I said it did not hurt. Although I wrangle my brain trying to figure out why in the world would someone dedicate a post to insult and be negative I choose the higher road in my blog. There is only one person I poke fun at in my blog – ME! Ok, make it 2, I poke fun at hubby too.
    niri´s last blog ..Win The CoverGirl Smoky Eye Look Kit (4 Winners)!

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  7. Amy on March 5th, 2010 9:42 pm
    7

    The general consensus seems to be that there’s no benefit in going negative on other mom bloggers (and I’m talking about personal attacks or attacking the style and content of a blog, not ideas or theories or issues). There are a few exceptions, bloggers who’ve built big audiences that way, but it’s kind of a train-wreck thing. They’ve got their loyal followers and defenders, but most people stop by to stare and point.

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  8. Jennifer on March 18th, 2010 1:07 pm
    8

    If I have learned one thing since starting my blog it is that the mommy blogger set can be every bit as cliquey as high school. Fortunately I have met plenty of really wonderful people who I wouldn’t otherwise have known, and they balance out the nasties. I still haven’t reached the big-time with my blog, and maybe I won’t, but I am not jealous of those who are successful. Instead, I try to pay attention to what they’re doing and see if I can learn anything from them. It’s beneath me to pick apart another blogger on my own site. I HATE negativity and have axed many RSS feeds and Twitter followers who can’t seem to stop bitching. There are so many unsuccessful bloggers who can’t or won’t make it on their own, so they just spend time being hateful toward the people who do have talent and put in the effort.

    Several years ago I had a fairly successful website dedicated to young women studying architecture. I WAS one. Someone with a trendy modern art blog wrote an entire post calling my site “condescending”, “pandering”, etc. She took issue with the fact that I used pink in my color scheme. It really stung. I took the criticism to heart, and changed the site design. My readers HATED the change. I should have just been myself. Now I know.

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  9. Sarah Baker on March 18th, 2010 1:25 pm
    9

    She is totally jealous!! I just started a blog and I realized that its really difficult to be bitchy to other people, even celebrities who I don’t know… So I think it takes a really nasty personality to do that. She probably thinks that she will get more readers by being bitchy but I for one am totally over bitchy blogs. Its much more interesting to me if a blogger can keep my attention without being bitchy or negative to other people be it a celebrity or fellow blogger.
    .-= Sarah Baker´s last blog ..WE LOVE BROWN LEATHER IN OUR SWISS CHALET =-.

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